Sweet Tea Hospitality

So really I shouldn't complain (but since I happen to be very good at it, here goes:). My new city is really pretty perfect (minus the fact that the earth beneath me could open up and swallow me at any given moment). For the most part there are no bugs. People don't even have screens on their windows here - no need; there is nothing to keep out. Having grown up in the deep south where people joke about mosquitoes being the "state bird" and shrug their shoulders at the site of their ten-millionth cockroach (no, fellow South Carolinians I will NOT use the euphemism "Palmetto Bugs," these creatures are vile and not deserving of a cutesy name), this ranks high for me. However, we do have ants. Seasonal sugar ants. When it is cold and rainy, these little buggers seek refuge and take over the kitchen (eew. gross.). That said, I have had to retrain my brain to keep all alluring food products in the fridge or some other impenetrable fortress. Lewis' frosted flakes - in the fridge. Sugar bowl for his coffee - in the fridge. Oreos - fridge. Needless to say, my fridge is quickly filling up with items that my OCD deems don't belong! However, if this is the price I have to pay to send these pests packing, I'm happy to oblige. So far, so good.......until this morning.

While back home in the 843, my new hubby discovered Firefly Sweet Tea vodka. He quickly became a loyal follower and it has become his libation of choice. Last night he made a drink while I was getting ready for our Poker Night outing. Being a "girl," this took a little longer than I had planned so we found ourselves rushing out the door. Sweet Tea vodka glass gets left on kitchen counter. Ant Frat Party begins. Ants party well into morning hours and were still gathered when I broke it up at 8 a.m. This got ugly. While I should have had the sober advantage, these insects quickly showed me who was boss. I first tried an aerial attack using a hot-water waterfall to flush them down the drain. But there were more. I then attempt to squash out the remaining battalions with wet sponge. This seemed to do the trick.  I had reclaimed my territory! Proceed to wash syrupy glass and surrounding counter top, then on to (finally!) making pot of coffee. Out of corner of my eye I see a black speck on the arm of my bath robe. "Damn coffee grinds mocking me again!" I disdainfully say to myself. To my horror the errant ground is approaching. I pluck it from my sleeve and give it the old 'finger squish.' HA! GOT 'EM! But wait...there are more! The ants have unified Normandy-style to take ME down! They are crawling up my arm and from my waist! I quickly go into sniper mode plucking each one at a time until the last blip of black was gone from my (thankfully white!) robe. Humbled by strategery of these intoxicated arthropods, I grudgingly add the bottle of Firefly to the stash in our fridge.