Jehovah's Witnesses - a force of nature that will make most humans hunker down as if the words "Hurricane Warning" had flashed across the TV. Seriously, I put it to you, who out there hasn't drawn the curtains, turned off the TV, and recoiled into the deepest part of the house at the mere mention of these heralds. I was out walking Ollie the other day and saw a group of of nicely dressed individuals leaving the front stoop of a house. Not an unusual site in the city. In fact, I'm a little surprised I noticed them at all, but they were walking rather slowly. Congregating. Carrying books. Formulating a plan. Oh dear Lord. I quickly reigned Oliver in, switched direction and darted home. Must warn Lewis! I attempted to be crafty with the direction I took. I didn't want them to see what house I went in to. Then they'd know we were home. We'd be sitting ducks! No sooner do my feet cross the thershold than I warn Lewis of the impending forecast, "Juh-hovuh's Witnessessssss. Dohhn't ahhnser thuh door!"
Why is it that these prophets of the pamphlet strike such fear in our hearts? Does it hail back to medieval times when we felt the need to protect our castle? After all, the Witness only becomes scary when he's in your neighborhood, close to your castle. If you happen to drive by while in the safety of your car and see some poor sap about to answer the door, do you not chuckle to yourself, and think, "thank gawd that wasn't me?!" You do. Or is it that we just don't want to hear it? After all, the spiel is never a quick one. Perhaps if it was, "Hello. God loves you. Come to our church if you'd like. We have doughnuts on Sundays. Have a nice day," maybe then we'd answer? I mean, how many times do these agents of Jehovah really gain a follower? I can't imagine the odds are in their favor. Maybe they should try the doughnut idea.............or a pitcher of Kool-Aid.
Your Grandmother used to hand them literature from the one true church back. In fact, I'm not sure that they got in a Word (pun intended)edgewise.
ReplyDelete